Default push backend to ntfy; FCM opt-in with privacy warning (issue #10)

- IRIS_PUSH_BACKEND now defaults to ntfy (keeps push metadata on your own
  infrastructure); FCM is opt-in via IRIS_PUSH_BACKEND=fcm
- build_push_backend(): ntfy for empty/unknown names, FCM only on explicit 'fcm'
- gateway setup: warn when FCM is chosen (metadata routed via Google's servers)
- README: privacy note + dedicated push section; new docs/playstore-listing.md
  with the FCM/ntfy privacy note for the Play Store listing
- docs: 00/02/03/08/12/16 + setup.md updated to ntfy-default wording
- tests: default-backend assertion updated (86/86 pass)

gateway-plugin/plugin.yaml

@@ -38,7 +38,7 @@ optional_env:
     prompt: "Allow all devices? (true/false)"
     password: false
   - name: IRIS_PUSH_BACKEND
-    description: "Push backend: fcm (default) or ntfy"
+    description: "Push backend: ntfy (default, keeps metadata off Google) or fcm"
     prompt: "Push backend"
     password: false
   - name: IRIS_FCM_SERVICE_ACCOUNT